Category: Uncategorized

[April Fools] Nintendo To “Pull a Sega”, Abandon Hardware

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Nintendo announced today that after many successful years in the gaming hardware business, they have finally decided to cave to the misguided opinions of a few outspoken armchair "experts" and unsupportive non-fans. Starting today, they will be following in the footsteps of their former rival Sega by abandoning all current and future hardware strategies.
"We greatly regret not listening to our critics sooner", Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata said in an exclusive interview. "It is our sincere hope that they will continue to not buy our games, even after we release them on the requested Sony and Microsoft platforms."

According to Iwata, Nintendo's future business plan is simply to mirror Sega's business arc since the moment they decided to abandon gaming hardware. This plan was presented as four distinct phases.

The first phase will involve shifting all titles currently in development over to one exclusive underperforming platform. This means that fans can soon look forward to enjoying such games as Splatoon, Yoshi's Wooly World, as well as the new Star Fox and Legend Of Zelda games only on PlayStation Vita.

Phase 2 will see Nintendo finally begin to create new games for PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. At the same time however, Nintendo will strive to cut mounting development costs and make up for lost revenue by consolidating and/or shutting down several internal game development studios, and by laying off key people. This will include shuttering popular studios like Kirby dev HAL Laboratory and Fire Emblem custodian Intelligent Systems. Also expect to see the forced retirement of legendary gaming icon and Mario creator, Shigeru Miyamoto.

Phase 3 will kick off with a now struggling-to-survive Nintendo being forced to merge with a pachinko company. Nintendo will use some of the new found capital from this merger to buy up a few lackluster 3rd party developers. They will then put these new studios to work creating poorly made games based on old secondary Nintendo properties and super hero movie adaptations.

Nintendo itself will start putting out annual Super Mario releases of successively diminishing quality. Furthermore, Nintendo will put a greater focus on publishing, including pushing out half-finished games by independent developers like Gearbox. These practices will continue on for a while, seeing Nintendo hemorrhage cash at an alarming rate.

The final phase will begin with Nintendo initiating another major restructuring and announcing a shift in focus, primarily to mobile gaming. That is as far as Nintendo has announced of their future plans, though based on these revelations, it's probably a safe assumption that whatever Sega decides to do next is what Nintendo will soon follow.

Although these announcements are sure to upset and confound investors and Nintendo fans alike, it's important to remember that some gamers who don't like Nintendo and don't play their games have been asking for this for years. While the majority of us are left scratching our heads and wondering why,  we can all take comfort in the knowledge that a small but vocal, yet totally indifferent group of people on the internet will be collectively exclaiming, "It's about time!"

[Image: Nintendo]

[April Fools] Twinstiq Joins AOL

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We have some great news!

Starting today, we are part of the AOL network of Blogs. This means many new things are coming up:

You already see the new site design. Tell us how you like it in the comments.
Since many have requested it, we also won’t get a new forum. I hope this shows you, that even though we are now part of one of the largest internet companies in the world, we still listen to you.
Talking about listening to you: Our new parent company was very impressed with the views Greywolfe’s post about F2P games got, so in the future you will find a lot more news and reviews for mobile F2P games.


What the team has to say about this:

“The freedom, synergy, and globalization that proactive corporate backing brings to the table will allow us to push the envelope with a paradigm shift in Twinstiq's production values, not to mention ads! A clear win-win!“
–Jye Cauffle

“Objectively integrate enterprise-wide strategic theme areas with functionalized infrastructures. Interactively productize premium technologies whereas interdependent quality vectors. Rapaciously utilize enterprise experiences via 24/7 markets.
Uniquely matrix economically sound value through cooperative technology. Competently parallel task fully researched data and enterprise process improvements. Collaboratively expedite quality manufactured products via client-focused results.

This and more is what AOL brings to the new Twinstiq. We hope that you can share our excitement for this globally harnessed multimedia based collaboration.”
–Dr. S

New PlayStation Store Releases: Axiom. Freaking. Verge.

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At long last, Axiom Verge has arrived. I have been waiting for this game for what seems like a good long while now. Ever since I first read about it and its lone creator, Tom Happ, I have been interested in this game. I was impressed by his dedication and his passion for the project. I was intrigued by his love for classic gaming which seems to be so well reflected in his work. I was struck by the images and the fine attention to detail. Then, when I saw a playable demo at Fry's a couple months back, I knew that this game would be a day one purchase for me. As a matter of fact, I just finished downloading it a short while ago. I actually can't wait to finish writing this so I can go fire it up.

Oh yeah, and there are some other releases this week as well. Head past the jump if you care to take a look.

PlayStation 4

PlayStation 3

  • Anna (Kalypso Media, 936 MB, $14.99)
  • MX Vs ATV Untamed (PS2 Classic) (Sony Computer Entertainment America, 4.1 GB, $9.99)
  • Shadow Tower (PS One Classic) (Sony Computer Entertainment America, 157 MB, $5.99)
  • TableTop Cricket (Big Ant Studios, 169 MB, $12.99)
[Image: Thomas Happ Games]

Andrew J Amideo

April PlayStation Plus Free Games Revealed

Here's the full lineup for April's free PlayStation Plus games. We've got some hot ones! Check out the list after the jump.
There's the Alaskan Never Alone on PS4, procedurally generated FPS Tower of Guns on PS3 and PS4, Bethesda's Dishonored on PS3, indie platformer Aaru's Awakening on PS3 and PS4, portable FPS Killzone Mercenary on Vita, and puzzler MonsterBag on Vita.
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Three More Assassin’s Creed Games Revealed

Because there just aren't enough Assassin's Creed games out there. Read on for the specifics.
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The episodic series kicks off April 21st taking us to China, with Russia and India chapters completing the experience by this fall. Coming to PS4, Xbox One, and Windows, the three titles are developed by Climax Studios in collaboration with Ubisoft Montreal.

Microsoft Considered Giving Away the Xbox, Buying Nintendo

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Lots of ideas get floated around when trying to develop and market a console, and with Microsoft's first entry, the idea of giving the console away was actually considered, along with outright buying Nintendo. Hit the jump for more details, and more crazy ideas!
Lorne Lanning spoke candidly after a recent interview with GamesIndustry.biz, revealing that early plans included the idea of giving the Xbox away. There was a very strong push behind this, and Seamus Blackley, co-creator, adds that the idea was to use the console as a trojan horse for Windows. The intent was that it would "be forced to run Windows after some period of time."

Lanning adds that there was huge internal resistance to the idea from Kevin Bachus, Seamus Blackley, and Ed Fries, "You got the brand that everyone resents having to buy, how's that going to work in the entertainment industry?" The ideas of being focused on playing movies, running Microsoft content exclusively, and many others were being pushed on the team by Microsoft executives.

In the end, the Xbox development team had proved themselves and these ideas were dumped, paving the way for a successful first entry in the console market. Today, it seems like many of these ideas are being revisited with the Xbox One. It had a focus on entertainment content, TV, and movies at one point. Microsoft are boasting cross-compatibility and interoperability with Windows 10 applications, and providing a development framework that will allow the same games and applications to run in both environments. Internet Explorer is available on the platform, and rumors of Cortana are being floated around.

It seems like the seeds of these original ideas never truly died, but became dormant until an opportune time. How do you feel about the changes in strategy Microsoft are making with the Xbox One? Was it just too early for the original Xbox, and is now the right time? Please let us know!

Fan-Made Mario 64 HD Remake Taken Down by Nintendo

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Well, that didn't last long. A fan remake of Mario 64 in the Unity engine, complete with upgraded visuals, has been taken down by Nintendo. Don't be too upset though, read on to see why.
You won't be missing out on the project's evolution, because the truth is that developer Erik Roystan Ross never intended to implement anything past the first level. Even before the take down occurred, his blog read "I currently do not have any plans to develop this any further, as this was created purely for demonstration purposes of the character controller and as a tribute to the original game."

However, some intrepid coders may anonymously continue the project, as its source has been released and was available for anyone to download for a period. For now, you can always try out some HD texture packs for the original game that are floating around on the web.

Source: Neowin

The Twinstiq Podcast (which is still looking for a name) Ep. 1

We started at the bottom, now we‘re here, which is still at the bottom, but with a Podcast to keep your ears warm!
Come on guys, don’t expect miracles. We are talking 1 ½ months after all. To get some perspective: The development of Ride to Hell: Retribution took 5 years.
Anyway, enjoy this first episode and stay tuned for more.
UPDATE: Here, have a link to Hormone Hysteria, the game you saw us playing.