NSFWRUP

We‘ve recently seen what Sony has in store for us in 2016 during their Paris Games Week conference. The obvious big hitters were of course No Man’s Sky, Horizon and GT Sport (which btw. is not GT7, despite sneaking the 7 into the trailer several times, you bastard!), but we also finally saw a bit more about Dreams, the new Media Molecule game. Still not 100% sure on what it actually is, but it looks a bit like Project Spark meets 3D sculpting, which is amazing in theory, but will most likely be over everyone’s skill set when it reaches the consumer. Won’t stop me from sharing some ideas I already had with you (feel free to do the same in the comments below)

1: You play as a penis with erectile dysfunction, sliding down a huge tube. On your way to the goal you can collect Viagra pills to boost your score and grow stiffer. The catch: if you collect too many, you will suffer a heart attack and lose a life.

2: You play as multiple penii at the same time and fight against evil vaginas by pissing and spunking on them. Watch out though: if two or more penii touch each other, they decide to become homosexuals and try to convert the rest of your penii.

3: A Doodle Jump style platformer where you play as a penis. Your goal is to jump from giant bouncy boob to giant bouncy boob while avoiding condoms and hanging breasts.

4: A remake of Super Mario Bros. 1-1

While I think of more great level ideas, what is everyone playing over the weekend?

 

  • Andrew (Twitter): Ghostbusters and Costume Quest 2 on Saturday. Then, once Halloween is overL I may just subject myself to another kind of horror entirely, Halo 2 on Games For Windows Live.
  • Dante: Scream Fortress is live! There may not be a new event this year, but they added enough to make it fun again. That's what I'll be doing until it's over.
  • Greywolfe (Twitter, YouTube): police quest three.  i'm just about at the half-way point of the game.  hearthstone's tavern brawl.  if i ever get in to be able to play it, because this week seemed to be a mess for me.  [but hopefully that'll be better over the weekend.] - inca [yeah.  i still haven't finished it.  :P] - and the tail end of rex, where i finish up exploring the abandoned city and get myself off the crazy planet.  i've finished up banjo kazooie and have started up the original spyro the dragon.  there's bits of it i hate.  i dunno if i'll finish it.  :(
  • Scrooloose: Going to be getting started on Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition, so excited about that. Original Sin was such a pleasure to play, still really really high on my list of top RPGs. I can't wait to see the changes in the enhanced edition. Still playing Volgarr the Viking, that's been super tough and a lot of fun. I basically play it until I can't stand failing anymore then go on to something else for a while. And of course I'll still be playing my fair share of Rocket League because I can't stop myself from loving that game.
  • Steve: Destiny and Battleborn closed technical test for the most part. Also looking at phones and realizing how much Canadians get shafted by our 2 big telecoms.
  • Thomas (Twitter): Maybe I’ll finally finish Halo 4 and AC: Unity. If not, I will probably return to the Witcher 3, because it’s been a while and I could use a good AAA RPG right now, since I will miss the Fallout launch.
  • Trish (Twitch): Spending the weekend browsing mobile games on google plays market since ive gotten my new phone, also playing some destiny.
  • Yoda0VGs (Twitter): More Vermintide for the Review!